Border Lines

Interracial internet dating, like online social networking , is riddled with scammers, people whose sole purpose in life is to separate you from your money .  However, if you follow some pretty simple rules of safety, utilize a first class website that focuses on introducing Chinese women to Western men and goes overboard trying to protect you from the scammers, then merely use some common sense, you can meet Chinese women of a quality you’ve only dreamed of until now. You can concentrate on locating your Chinese life mate without worrying about getting scammed.

The first thing you should do is develop a long term goal. Do not get in a rush. You’d be amazed by how many men actually propose to the first Chinese woman they encounter on the internet , before they’ve even met her in person. That is insane! Relax, kick back and settle in to really enjoy the fun of online dating and meeting lots of beautiful Sino women, who, unlike “emancipated” Western women, actually want you, want to be with you, want to take care of you. When is the last time you met a woman who genuinely “wanted to take care of you”? Well on a quality Chinese dating website you have a great chance to meet hundreds of them.

Your job isn’t to find one Chinese woman who’s amenable to marry you as fast as imaginable. Just the opposite, your job is meeting Chinese women in droves who are looking for a find a western lifemate. Then, out of all those Chinese woman who want to be your lifemate, to weed out the Chinese girl who matches you best . You can’t do that without taking some time! Nor should you, because this stage of the plan is highly enjoyable.

So here is the plan :

1. Determine the time that you’ll make that trip to China, because inevitably you’ll have to do that to meet in person those great China ladies you’ve narrowed your list of real potential lifemates down to. Don’t plan on having them come to you. The cost and stress of hosting 3 to 5 Chinese female guests for several weeks each will be far more than you going to China to meet them, and this way you get a great adventure out of the deal. Plus, if you’re in China you can simply instantly escape any Chinese woman who is not what you were expecting, instead of being stuck entertaining her for the entire time she’s in your country.

I suggest that, finances allowing, you make it between 3 to 9 months from the date you start your internet dating adventure to the date you arrive in China. Anything less than 3 months is too soon to have met enough women of China and shortlisted the very best of them. Anything longer than 9 months is going to seem like too long to them to wait to finally meet you.

2. Put together a first class profile. Read Dating Tips and articles in your site’s online dating section and eMagazine on this subject. (If your interracial internet dating site doesn’t offer this advice why is it your favorite?)  Then take the time to make your profile one that will really be of interest to the Chinese ladies.

3. Start searching in earnest through the many thousands of pretty Chinese women that should be available on your Chinese dating website for the ones that make you feel that well known spark. Don’t dwell on the ones who look like they’d hit the hay with you on a minute’s notice, because they probably would – you and about a hundred other guys. Look for real China women who want a lifemate, not a customer.

4. Make contact. In my opinion your first contact should be only a Kiss even if you or she is a VIP member. You don’t want to seem desperate or over anxious. If she doesn’t respond follow up with a short message several days later. NEVER send a great big long biography of yourself in the first message. You’ll bore her to tears. Keep it short and fun. The less you say at first the more she’ll want to know.

5. Send out lots of opening kisses, but only to Chinese girls who are of real interest to you. You’re likely going to be surprised by the volume of responses if you’re on a real quality site, and you don’t need to get bogged down writing letters and chatting with ladies who you knew beforehand were not going to be a good match for you.

6. Once you start communication with some of the members be careful. As much effort as a quality site extends to eliminate scammers there are always a few that sneak by and don’t get caught until a member reports them. On that note, the moment anyone asks you for money, no matter how sincere and reasonable it seems,  report them to your website’s service department and expect them to inquire and notify you of their conclusions. If there isn’t a clear and responsible ongoing effort by the website to limit scammers, change websites and find one where there is.

7. Now, ready and focused get out there and meet that beautiful Chinese woman who will make your life complete . After all, Chinese women turn dreams into reality.

John Abbot is co-owner of ChinaLoveMatch.net. Married to a lovely Chinese Lady and living in China, John knows and respects China, Chinese Women, Chinese People and Chinese Culture. He blogs about Online Dating, Chinese Women, International Relationships and Things Chinese.

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